These bumper stickers that say “I Don’t Shop at WalMart”. GOOD FOR YOU.
I don’t shop there either, lots of people don’t, but they don’t need to announce their moral superiority to the world.
I’m tempted to get a bumper sticker that says “I Don’t Shop at JOE’S DINER” or something equally stupid and pointless.
To the jerks picking up their kids from school in the ultimate behemoth SUV,
Really, you are the reason non-parents hate people with kids. I’m being serious here. Parking your mega SUV perpendicularly behind a bunch of other cars so you can get little Jimmy from the front of the school causes actual hate. See also: driving past the line up of cars waiting to pick up their kid and forcefully merging your ginormous penis extension into a tiny opening.
Please. You have to stop or the non-parents are going to revolt and we’ll all have to pay for your douche-baggery.
Thanks!!
After we moved, I told myself I’d stop reading the local paper from Kitsap County, where we used to live. More specifically, I thought I could stop getting into internet arguments in the comments section.
I was wrong.
I am still compelled to comment on various letters to the editor, and end up going back and forth with people. People wanting to write discrimination into the constitution, outlaw gay marriage, abortion, global warming, etc. It makes me crazy and I can’t help myself… I have to reply.
I need help. 
Dear Bluetooth Headset Wearers,
I just wanted to let you guys know that wearing your Bluetooth headset EVERYWHERE is definitely not great. I know you think you look very cool and important, but the fact is you look like a pretentious douche. I know grocery shopping is real serious business, but I think its safe to interrupt your cereal selection to pick up your phone.
Why is it you only see jerks like used car salesmen, soccer moms or real estate agents doing this? Anyway, you should just stop.
That is all.
(ps, that guy is an idiot, don’t be that guy)
