Disgusting.

In a way, I wish I hadn’t read this:

A lot has been written about the “Open-Source Boob Project”—wherein female participants at a software/sci-fi convention were invited to wear either a green button (signifying “hey, mouth-breathing sci-fi nerd who has never been within 40 feet of a real woman—feel free to grab my tits”) or a red one (signifying “sorry, boys, I have autonomy over my body and am not going to give it up by letting random dudes grope me”).

I’m embarrassed to say my initial reaction was sad that I have two girls. I feel sad for them, that they’ll grow up in a society where, after a certain age, they’ll be treated like objects. It’s really depressing and disgusting. Kate posted her frustrations, and I hope that our girls will be able to look up to their mother and see a role model, someone who defines herself and her role in society, not the other way around.

Heartbreak

Yesterday, we were all downtown doing a little shopping. We left one store, and on our way to the car, a homeless man passed us and asked William to give him five. Will loves giving fives (especially high fives), so he obliged, albeit very shyly, he kept his face down the whole time being bashful. The man held Will’s hand for a minute or two, told him to be a good boy, to listen to mom and dad. He was lightly stroking Will’s hand with his thumb, like he hadn’t had any human contact for a long time. He said to Will that it was time to go, time to go with Mom and Dad. He had been kneeling, and when he stood up I could see that he was crying. Will gave him a hug, and so did Emily, and as we were leaving, the man approached me for a hug and said “Thank you, god bless you” while he was crying. When we left, he watched us for a moment before going on his way.

I don’t know what his story is, but it was pretty evident that he was moved by the kids taking a few minutes to stop and talk to him. It breaks my heart that someone would be moved to tears by something like that. I’ve been upset since it happened, that in a country, a state, a city like ours, that someone is forgotten, that taking 5 minutes of my time to stop and interact with them, to not pretend like I didn’t see him or hear him and keep walking, would affect him like that.

In a city like Olympia, where people spend hundreds of thousands on influencing the right people, it is morally wrong that anyone is forgotten because they’re not the right people. Writing about this on a meaningless blog is a totally worthless action, but I need to write this down, because I don’t know what I’m going to do, but I know that I have to do something. I need to remember this, to remember that man. We’re going to do what we can to help, volunteer at a shelter, soup kitchen, something.

What does it say about us as a society when so many need only a small helping hand but never get it?

How Lacey has decided to solve their panhandling problem…

via The Olympian:

“The council revised its panhandling ordinance to bar people from begging for money on driveways that both access public streets and are open to the general public, such as shopping malls or other retail stores.

Panhandlers could lawfully stand at these driveways if they can obtain written permission from the property owner.”

Just make it illegal! That always works. Just look at past successes, like the War on Drugs. Good work, Lacey City Council. Give yourselves a big pat on the back.

Musings about parenting found in strange places.

A quote:

“I told you that ‘juvenile delinquent’ is a contradiction in terms. ‘Delinquent’ mean ‘failing in duty’. But duty is an adult virtue – indeed a juvenile becomes an adult when, and only when, he acquires a knowledge of duty and embraces it as dearer than the self love he was born with. There never was, there cannot be, a ‘juvenile delinquent’. But for every juvenile criminal there are always one or more adult delinquents – people of mature years who either do not know their duty, or who, knowing it, fail.”

This is from a science fiction novel I’m reading, strangely enough. I agree with it. I think my most important job (my duty) as a parent is to produce a good person. I just don’t think I could have put it so succinctly or elegantly.

There are poor people in Olympia

I guess I shouldn’t have been surprised, really, but living in a fairly affluent and homogeneous city (Gig Harbor) for a few years has a way of desensitizing you from the rest of the area, which is really unfortunate. I didn’t like living in a little microcosm of upper-middle class America, and I’m truly happy to be away from that.

I’m pretty conflicted about helping people who are on the streets begging. I passed 4 people with signs today, all asking for money at different intersections in town. Part of me wants to help and give what I can, while another part of me thinks that waiting for a hand-out is fairly useless. I don’t know their stories and don’t presume to, but I’m skeptical about people trying to scam me or otherwise take advantage of me. How can I tell if they’re genuinely needy or just lazy? I feel bad even thinking that sometimes, like someone who is begging is just “faking it” because they’re lazy. How presumptuous!

Emily is really starting to become more observant of the world around her. She notices these things too. I’m not exactly sure how I’m going to answer her the first time she asks why people are homeless, or why they’re begging besides “I don’t know”. I want her to grow up and have compassion for the people who are less fortunate, but I don’t want her to be a sucker, either. I want her to know that the only thing she can truly count on in life is herself, and to learn to draw strength from within herself, to not expect a hand-out.

I feel like there is a lesson to be taught from this, but I’m not sure what it is or how to teach it.